I’ve been mostly silent of late because I’ve had a real battle on my hands: breast refusal.
It started while we were in hospital.В Eskil has always been quite a sleepy bub, so had to be woken up for feeds.В And then wasn’t very alert.В Plus apparently breastfeeding is quite an exhausting thing for a newborn to do (talk about a design failure!), so in hospital I started supplementing by pumping.В I’m lucky that The Fertile One lent me an electric breast pump so when I went home I was ready for this.В When she gave it to me I didn’t think I’d need it, but it’s been a life saver.В And my son is certainly my husband’s child: he’s such a greedy eater he really loves the bottle, which he can gulp milk out of.В But unlike my husband, Eskil now seems to regard my breasts as his worst nightmare.В So unfortunately we’re now at a place where I pump pretty much exclusively.
realPlease don’t worry too much; I’m just letting you know what happens in the darkest moments in the darkest reaches of my mind.В I know these things aren’t true.В But it’s hard to get the continual rejection; feeds happen 7 10 times a day.В It’s exhausting, and it’s a lot of refusal.В The up side is so far I’ve been able to keep up with his ever-increasing hunger sometimes just barely, but sometimes I can get at least a feed ahead.
And I haven’t given up on breastfeeding, even though I’m giving us a small break from trying.В It really starts to impact your relationship, so I’m giving us a holiday from that and just pumping and trying to enjoy my son.В But I’m not giving up; I think my approach to infertility shows that’s not likely!!
The Ojai Cook Lemonaise Light 12 Oz.
