Tuesday

Cautiously Optimistic

Cautiously Optimistic

I still think I’m pregnant.I still am refusing to pee on a stick.I have an appointment to see my doctor next week and will get a blood test then.I just don’t want to see a negative pregnancy result.Because in the back of my mind I’m worried that would happen.

What is unavoidable is that I am still late.My boobs ache and I am nauseous in the mornings.

Mornings freak me out.Because my boobs are only a little tender and I worry instantly that it’s a sign something has gone wrong.Why do they hurt so much less?I wonder.But the queasiness is there so that holds my freakout at bay a little.I have very little appetite and frankly food doesn’t taste that great to me.I forced myself to eat most of a piece of toast with almond butter and half a banana this morning.I was nauseous until nearly lunch.But it was nothing I can’t handle, I’m not throwing up I just have that feeling I get before speaking to a large crowd of people.I expect the nausea to get worse.I actually welcome it because it at least is a sign something’s going right here.


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